"Therrible Threes"

If you are not a parent, or are a new parent, don't let anybody fool you into thinking there is such a thing as the "Terrible Twos" with kids.  There isn't.  In fact, the only reason the "Twos" are called "Terrible", I think, is because of the hard "T" sound that begins both words.  "Therrible Threes" is more accurate.  When my older son was two, life was wonderful.  He slept through the night, was progressively on his way to being fully potty trained, still took decent naps during the afternoon, and genuinely wanted to share.  Unlike babies, he didn't put everything he could get his hands on into his mouth (we are reliving that nightmare with a new baby in the house as legos, paper, dog food, and you name it go straight down the hatch).  He was generally playful and still liked his mommy and daddy and his every aim was to please us.

Something drastic happened almost overnight.  On the day before his third birthday, we put our sweet little toddler to bed, without a fuss, but a ferocious monster woke up in his place the next morning.  Throughout the next year, that same ferocious monster woke up morning after morning.  We had been told that the twos were terrible, and when age two passed, we thought we had been spoiled.  Little did we know that many other seasoned parents had gone through the same thing: the "Therrible Threes".  He no longer wanted to please us.  His life was now marked with temper tantrums, throwing food, and fighting us at bedtime.  He didn't want to go outside to play, but he didn't want to be inside either.  Our happy-go-lucky two year old turned into an indecisive hard to please three year old.  He no longer wanted to please us.  Quite the opposite; it seemed as if the more frustrated he made us, the more satisfied he became.    

Now, we have another three year old who happens to be Autistic.  There are some quirks and character traits he displays that are clearly derived from Autism.  But he is also three.  So now, we're having a hard time deciphering between what is Autism and what is "3".  Breakfast time, lunchtime, dinnertime, bedtime, potty time, play time and any time are all "Therrible."  

The kid has been drinking from a cup for a long time now, and since he is still a little guy, we expect the occasional "spilled milk."  However, once in a while (and by "once in a while" I mean "daily"), he takes a big drink and then lets the contents in his mouth dribble down his chin, onto his lap.  We think to ourselves, "Is that typical with most autistic kids?  Do many of them just let their drink dribble onto their laps?"  Often times, he asks for another drink and against better judgment, we oblige thinking, "it was just an accident, he didn't mean it."  This happened just the other day.  He took a big drink of milk and slowly spit it out of his mouth.  When he asked, I kindly gave him another drink, only to have him turn the cup upside down and pour the milk directly onto the floor.  This, of course, is followed by a giggle as he looks up at us with his mischievous grin.

Or, take his newfound life as an exhibitionist.  Our sweet, compliant two-year old Matt-Man used to let us dress him any way we chose, and he would be satisfied to wear clothes, period.  He is now learning to dress himself which is great!  At some point, the kid has to learn independence.  At the same time, he is also learning to undress himself which, while also a great step toward independence, is also turning into a nightmare.  "Matt-Man, go put your pants on," we say, as he is running around the house in a tee-shirt and undies.  I know he can do that, I've seen him do that before.  Yet of late, he returns wearing nothing at all!  Just the other night, we put both boys to bed, fully clothed, and like all brothers who share a room do, our boys did not fall immediately asleep.  Instead, they played in their bedrooms, with lights off, causing a ruckus, as boys do.  And as dads do, I went in to break up the party and remind them that they were to go to sleep lest they meet the wrath of dad.  Upon entering the bedroom, however, there I found my little Matt-Man naked as the day he was born, laughing his silly little head off.

One last example.  He is also learning to go potty, which again, is a positive thing.  This has been a long time coming.  He has been in diapers for far too long and those things ain't cheap.  Even better, he is learning to pee standing up much earlier than Nathan ever did.  It won't be long before he and his brother are in the bathroom having a "sword fight" into the toilet.  In the meantime, here he is, standing on his red stool, proudly shooting a long stream of urine at a Cheerio tossed in there for him to have something to aim at.  It has gotten to the point where he's getting pretty good at it too.  "Matt-Man, get on the stool and go potty!" is all we have to say, and he does it.  Except, recently, he had a change of plans.  We were in a bit of a hurry, so I opened the toilet, placed him on the red stool, gave him a target and said, "Go Pee".  Then I left to attend to the baby.  When I returned, he had shut the lid of the toilet and was peeing on the lid, laughing hysterically.  I caught him in mid-stream and yelled, "Matthew, NO!"  But I was too late.  He simply looked up at me with his mischievous grin and kept peeing on the lid, watching his urine puddle on the floor.  

He is cute and adorable and such fun.  Our little Matt-Man has an infectious laugh, a grin that will melt the hardest heart, and blue eyes that could convince a pretty girl to do anything he wanted.  He has some quirky behaviors strictly tied to Autism, like lining up toys, echoing what he hears, staring at patterns, and constantly opening and closing doors.  Yet, he also has some behaviors that prove he is a three-year-old, like peeing and pooping anywhere except into the toilet, running through the house naked, and dumping milk on the floor, almost for sport.  Whereas he used to do everything to please us, now it seems as if his one desire in life is to make me bald by my next birthday.  He's doing quite well, thank you very much.  Yes, my little Matt-Man is cute, adorable, and such fun, and also "Therrible."